I've always been envious of my friend Kim's family meetings that they hold weekly so I asked her to break it down for us. It sounds so mature, so organized and so damn beneficial! She swears we can all adopt this idea and below she's giving us all the info we need to implement it in our own homes.
The start of the school year can mean the start of new activities and an new season of the old activities. Either way, schedules fill up quickly with work, life, sports, music, social (you get the idea) and life gets crazy. To keep track of four schedules, two cars (3 drivers) and one cat that needs a lot of attention, we established a weekly family meeting.
What is it?
A weekly check in with the entire family to discuss schedules, chores and any other family ‘business’.
When is it?
Scheduled to fit your household, we found that generally Sunday nights we are able to eat dinner together so our meeting is directly after dinner, before dishes or dessert. Maybe there’s a afternoon or school night that works better for you, but try to make it a routine.
Why is it important?
The weekly family meeting tackles busy schedules, keeps you better organized and in touch with individual’s concerns. There is less chaos (no chaos is a dream) and by extension less stress (again, complete elimination is aspirational).
Family meeting agenda is loosely as follows:
Schedule:
Everyone arrives with their schedule for the week (digital or paper) and you go through each day. Include work and school, because thats a big chunk of time, and then activities. Its important to remember that mom and dad have activities as well and don’t wait around all day to just drive carpool all afternoon/evening.
Discuss how people are getting to activities (mom, dad, bike, walk, etc). Talk through drop offs and pick ups and when you’ll need to leave to arrive on time. Sometimes crazy schedules require creativity and coordination but remember your personal and family priorities when deciding how to spend your resources (time, money, etc). Sometimes schedules change and things come up. Be respectful of your commitments and communicate early if a new plan is required.
Plan for what you need to take. Sometimes this adds additional time with tasks like laundry, meal prep, etc that the kids can help with.
Chores:
Discuss what everyone’s responsibilities are for the week. We have rotating chores so the family meeting is when the person doing dishes and the person doing trash and bathroom switch roles (conveniently chores rotate just before Sunday dinner dishes). If there are ‘special projects’ in the week, this is a great time to assign new tasks.
Business:
Old and new family business is an opportunity for each family member to have a voice. Topics for discussion can be personal or family related, light or heavy in nature but all are treated with respect and consideration. No talking over or interrupting. Listen and you’ll be surprised what comes up.
Extras:
Add anything else that fits your family. We purchased the Babble recommended book "52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens" and take turns reading a new page each week and close our meeting with a ‘moment of joy’ for each person from the past week…because who doesn’t want to be reminded of the good stuff??
All of the above takes roughly 30 minutes. More or less time is based on family schedules and attention spans. Make it fit your purpose and priorities. If you can make this a regular habit, larger issues and discussions can carry over week to week. For us, the family meeting has fostered better communication and fewer unexpected scheduling conflicts. It has served as a venue to introduce serious family discussions and relive fun and funny memories. Each member of our family takes something different from the new routine but all agree with its value.
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