The Babbleverse has spoken and is eager to know about parental controls with their kid’s Apple devices. I may not be a parent, but I am an uncle, and the slithering, slimy horror I feel at the thought of my nieces or nephews viewing the darker avenues of the internet is pretty compelling. So, without further ado, Brandon’s list for trying to control what your kid can see with their devices (please note the emphasized “trying:” this is a moving target, people).
Step 1: Don’t have kids if you’re worried about what they might find on the internet. So far this has worked well for me.
Step 2: Create an Apple Family
If the allure of having a pet human for the rest of your life is irresistible, or you’ve already committed to a life with children, start here.
Note that with this setup, each member of your family will need their own Apple ID to log into different Apple services — even partners or toddlers if they have their own devices. There are several benefits to this setup:
Share subscriptions, App Store purchases, iTunes purchases, Apple Books purchases, etc. amongst the family. For example, if Mom buys Frozen II from iTunes, and Papa subscribes to Apple Fitness, anyone in the family can watch the movie or use the workouts.
Keep personal information private. Separate Apple IDs will keep your text messages, photos, calendars, notes, reminders, and other personal information only on your devices.
With dependents, there’s even more:
Set up “Ask to Buy,” meaning any App Store, iTunes or in-app purchases will need to be approved by a parent.
Set up Apple Cash — an easy way to divvy out money, like an allowance, without setting up a bank account. The kids can use their money with Apple Pay, and parents can set up spending limits and see all transactions made.
Set up device time limits, which will lock the device after the allotted time period has expired. This can be app-specific, blocking games but allowing educational content, for example.
Turn on shared locations, allowing parents to see where their kid’s devices are at all times.
Find missing devices, akin to using Find My iPhone, but with the benefit of seeing your entire family’s device locations.
Go to Settings.
Tap your name.
Tap Family Sharing, then tap Set Up Your Family.
Add your entire family, spouses, kids, grandparents, and live-in trolls
Step 3: Get Granular
Yeah, we’re not done. We can get very, very specific about what kind of content different Apple IDs are allowed.
Most of this is going to be done under a relatively new section in Settings: Screen Time. For adults, Screen Time is a great way to create self-imposed device limits and to keep ourselves focused by limiting which apps are accessible at different times of the day. It’s also a great way to tally and track how much you use your Apple devices.
When it comes to a kid’s device, in the settings you’ll notice a toggle for “This is My Child’s Device” versus “This is My Device.” That’s important to turn on. You will create a unique parental lock code to ensure your kids don’t just change the settings back to what they want. Do not forget it, and don’t make it the same as your own phone’s unlock code. Kids are way too smart for that nonsense.
(Pro tip: kids don’t understand how we used to text message. Choose an easy-to-remember word like “dude” and write it in old-school-phone text: 3 88 3 33)
Here’s what you can do now:
Prevent iTunes or App Store purchases — this is pretty important. There have been several news stories about kids buying obscene amounts of in-game currency or unlocked abilities for real hard cash.
Choose which apps can be used. Maybe you don’t want your kids on Safari (the internet) at all? You can turn the app off. Maybe you don’t want the kids taking pictures? Turn off the camera app.
Allow or disallow explicit media. Can your kids watch R-rated movies? Can they listen to explicit lyrics in music? What types of books are appropriate for them? Set limits for all this!
Try to prevent adult web content. This is a tricky thing to pull off, and the built-in system doesn’t always catch everything, but it’s better than nothing and gets better all the time. You’ll have three options, “Unrestricted,” “Limit Adult Websites,” or the third option “Allowed Websites,” which will require you to create a master list of which sites are allowed, otherwise, they’re disallowed.
Restrict Siri’s ability to search. I can envision a world where you wouldn’t want a kid to ask Siri how babies are made or what Cardie B meant by “WAP.”
Restrict Game Center. This is a lesser-known service of Apple’s, allowing friends to connect over games they’re playing, earn achievements, and compete for high scores. The system has many abilities, like private messaging in games, or the ability to join a multiplayer game based on location, which can be toggled on and off individually.
Set limits on contacts. Perhaps little Bobby can FaceTime with mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa, but only them.
Set limits for device privacy. Just like your own phone, where certain apps and services are allowed access to your location, health info, contacts, etc., you can also dictate what apps can access your kid’s data. This includes:
Location
Contacts
Calendars
Reminders
Photos
Bluetooth sharing
Microphone access
Speech recognition
Apple advertisements
Allow or disallow apps to track for advertising purposes
Media and music
Health and safety info
Step 4: A few more things
I suggest turning on “Communication Safety” (also in the Screen Time settings). This is an interesting new tool that can recognize when media contains nudity. If a person tries to send a suspected nude image or video to your child, the image will be blurred out with the message “This may be sensitive” etched across it. As a parent, you can set “trusted adults,” with whom the phone urges the child to contact for help with the situation.
If the child chooses the view the image, the phone will warn them that it could contain something sensitive and that they shouldn’t be embarrassed, but they have the choice to not open it, and again urges the child to contact a trusted adult.
Note: This is also a handy tool if you’ve ever received an unwanted “duck” pic — I’m probably talking to the dating pool here more so than parents, but you never know!
Secondly, this works in reverse as well. If your kiddo wants to send an inappropriate photo, a similar message of intervention is made.
Here’s another relatively new tool — the ability to detect if you or your child holds the device too close to their face, creating eye strain and a risk of myopia.
You can turn this on in Screen Time as well, and works with Apple devices equipped with Face ID, like iPhone X and newer, and newer iPads.
Beware of Other Apps
Don’t get me wrong — apps are amazing. But you’ll notice this list is pretty specific to Apple technology, like the iTunes Music Store, Movie Store, Apple Book Store, etc.
Apps from other creators may not adhere to these safety guidelines. For instance, if you let your kids download Netflix, it may disregard the “no rated-R movies” setting as Apple doesn’t control it so tightly. Apps like Reddit and Twitter are literally filled with pornography, but because they’re not solely intended for that, they’re still available on the App Store.
As mentioned before, you can control whether a child can install apps willy-nilly, or alternately set their device to require approval by a guardian beforehand.
Step 5: Hope for the best
It’s a complicated, changing world, and technology presents new facets of concern for caretakers almost every day. Take the time to set up your Apple Family properly and impose the restrictions you see fit, even if it takes an afternoon, and then three weeks of your kids whining. I believe in you and, frankly, wonder what you’ve got yourself into.
About the author: Hi there, I'm Brandon Stoker: an Idaho native, artist, uncle, and nerd who enjoys grabbing coffee with Brooke. You can find out more about me and my digital marketing company La Lune Group at LaLuneGroup.com, follow us on the ‘gram, or shop my educational store at Bstoker.Etsy.com.
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